I hate that feeling. I do SO well with being the one in the family to keep it all together. To be upbeat and happy go lucky about things and to always look on the bright side. Jeremy works so hard to provide for us so that I can remain at home with Madelyn, that the least I can do is show that I am appreciative and that all he does is not at all unnoticed. When he's down, I'm the first one to say that those hardships are not at all things to fret over and that we are extremely blessed. Pointing out the obvious: we have a healthy little girl, we have a roof over us, food on the table, friends and family who care, good vehicles, etc. My favorite little reminder being, "It could be worse." Knowing that God has a plan for us seems to get me through the day.
But now, and every so often, I find myself just a little bummed. It builds and builds and builds until finally, I've had enough and I just want to cry. Oddly enough, I never do... I keep waiting for things to turn around and start looking up, yet they don't. I keep searching for a glimpse of change, yet I find nothing. I pray daily. Heck maybe even a few times throughout the day. When will things start looking up?
See, now I feel completely ungrateful for all of the wonderful blessings I have and totally inconsiderate of others who have situations way worse than myself. And now, not only do I feel like my bubble has been popped, I feel a bit guilty for asking God "why". Bear with me guys, this is seriously how my mind works during these moments.
You see, a while back, I literally handed all of my worries over to God. My problems are not my problems anymore and, although I still have to live through them, I have no control over them. My life is in God's hands. At the very moment I made the decision to do that, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off of me. Seriously. When Jeremy would openly worry about finances, I can honestly say I felt no fear. Not that I didn't care, but I had a welcomed comfort that we were and will be okay.
But, as I said before, every once in a while, that fear sneaks back up. I begin to lose a little faith and take those worries back upon myself. I'll sometimes let it eat away at me for days. It's infuriating and terrifying, lame and absolutely useless. And now, since I've used you guys as my little outlet (because I truly hate allowing Jeremy to know I feel this way), I am slowly working my way back to sane. As I read back over my ever so whiney post, two things seemed to really jump out at me: God has a plan for us and we are and will be okay.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A date with Madelyn
I swear as soon as the weather got warm out, Madelyn was begging to go to the aquarium. No, we don't need it to be warm out for that, but we just haven't been since last summer. It was a rare request from her and, because it has been so pretty, I've been putting it off. I do LOVE sea animals but after a few visits, it kinda gets redundant. I'd much rather spend our beautiful days at parks and beaches and well.... anything that is completely outside.
Today, however, began with rain... So, when she woke up and asked about the aquarium, I told her that when it quit raining we'd go. (Yes, I knew it was going to stop. I was not trying to get out of going.) To pass the time, we did a few crafts. With today being the first day of March, we decided to make a fruit loop rainbow into a pot of gold and she colored a St. Patty's day printout. It was STILL raining and she was asking for more artwork, so we then focused on the letter E --it's one that she's having trouble recognizing-- and made a cute elephant and craft stick E! Finally, the rain ceased and she was the first to notice!
We practically scarfed down our lunch and headed out! I chose not to call up any of our friends to meet us simply because we've NEVER been to the aquarium by ourselves! A bit selfish I guess, but things are always so much more relaxed when Madelyn and I go on outings by ourselves. We do enjoy our friends and family, we do. Honest. It's just.....sometimes we enjoy our "dates". The times where we have no schedule, no places to go, no obligations at all and no one to please but ourselves...
Which brings me to the point of this post:
If you have a child, I highly recommend taking a day here or there (even if you're a dad) to spend one on one time with him or her. A day that is truly focused on what your child is saying and doing. It is so much fun getting to hang out and enjoy what your child is enjoying at the moment. Days like today are my favorite!
This is the first time we actually stopped at every exhibit and talked about almost every animal there! We sat and watched a "show" where the worker was diving into one of the tanks, followed a turtle along the wall, found Nemo, laughed at the Otters (my favorite), talked to the ducks, stopped for a snack, "pet" the starfish and so much more! We truly enjoyed ourselves... Nothing makes me happier than seeing Madelyn's eyes light up and a big smile on her face :)
Today, however, began with rain... So, when she woke up and asked about the aquarium, I told her that when it quit raining we'd go. (Yes, I knew it was going to stop. I was not trying to get out of going.) To pass the time, we did a few crafts. With today being the first day of March, we decided to make a fruit loop rainbow into a pot of gold and she colored a St. Patty's day printout. It was STILL raining and she was asking for more artwork, so we then focused on the letter E --it's one that she's having trouble recognizing-- and made a cute elephant and craft stick E! Finally, the rain ceased and she was the first to notice!
We practically scarfed down our lunch and headed out! I chose not to call up any of our friends to meet us simply because we've NEVER been to the aquarium by ourselves! A bit selfish I guess, but things are always so much more relaxed when Madelyn and I go on outings by ourselves. We do enjoy our friends and family, we do. Honest. It's just.....sometimes we enjoy our "dates". The times where we have no schedule, no places to go, no obligations at all and no one to please but ourselves...
Which brings me to the point of this post:
If you have a child, I highly recommend taking a day here or there (even if you're a dad) to spend one on one time with him or her. A day that is truly focused on what your child is saying and doing. It is so much fun getting to hang out and enjoy what your child is enjoying at the moment. Days like today are my favorite!
This is the first time we actually stopped at every exhibit and talked about almost every animal there! We sat and watched a "show" where the worker was diving into one of the tanks, followed a turtle along the wall, found Nemo, laughed at the Otters (my favorite), talked to the ducks, stopped for a snack, "pet" the starfish and so much more! We truly enjoyed ourselves... Nothing makes me happier than seeing Madelyn's eyes light up and a big smile on her face :)
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