Away for a while

With Thanksgiving coming, I'll be stepping away from the computer for a while.  Also....my computer crashed! Yup!  (I'm borrowing my husband's) SO....I hope to be back very soon!  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone :)

First Kiss

My little baby had her "first kiss" yesterday.  haha!  Let's not get all in a tissy....It was nothing crazy and there was no motive behind it, but it was super cute :)

We were at a birthday playdate and I had walked over to get Madelyn in order to leave.  Her little friend, Brady (the one who did this), was playing with her so I told her to tell him bye.  He asked for a hug so she hugged him and was about to walk away when he asked for a KISS!  She turned around and they kissed each other on the lips like it was no big deal.  I, on the other hand, was just gushing inside!  It wasn't until later that afternoon that I realized this was technically her first kiss but at the time I was just thinking how incredibly adorable they were.  I mean, quite obviously, they just looked at it as normal (like kissing your mommy or daddy).  But really, I think it's precious! 

I was telling Jeremy and my parents about it and so they asked her if she kissed a boy.  She answered yes and was very promt in telling them who it was.  So.....at two and a half years old, my baby has had her first kiss.  Recorded in the baby book and everything.  I can't wait to share these precious stories with her when she's older and has her real first kiss :)

When are they too old?

While on yet another trip to Mississippi this past weekend, we stopped in at a country gas station for knick nacks and to stretch our legs.  After we had all picked out our treats, we approached the very nice cashier.  He was talking to Madelyn and just carrying on a very casual conversation.  During this time, Madelyn asked me to pick her up and without thought, I did.   He then said something that struck a  nerve.  Not too bad, just made me wonder....  He said, "How old is she?" So I told him and he then continued to say, "And you're still holding her?" 

I mean, the guy didn't say it in a rude way, and I'm sure he didn't mean it the way I took it because he eventually clarified that his nephew or son (I can't remember which) was one and a half and would NOT let anyone hold him anymore.  My motherly instinct to the comment (completely answered in my mind thank goodness) was "Well of course I still hold her! Why wouldn't I?!" (with very offended tone of voice.) 

So, my thoughts on this are:  Until the day has come that my baby is too heavy for me to hold, I will hold her if the opportunity presents itself.  Obviously, I won't carry her around when she's seven or eight and I'm sure that when the day comes for us to have baby #2 I'll be a little more cautious as well, but I see nothing wrong with stealing a little love while I can.  And althought I have my days where I get incredibly frustrated with Madelyn and really just want to lock myself in my room for a little "me time",  I truly believe that we should cherish our children every day.  I am aware that way too many children are taken from us much sooner than we'd like.  Some before even given a chance to see this crazy world, others from unforseen illnesses or tragic incidents. Honestly, it's just heartbreaking either way you look at it.  I am so blessed that God has given me such a great opportunity and the title of "Mother." 

And honestly, although I don't really give a Poo if someone looks down on me for choosing to hold Madelyn any time I see fit, what are you feelings on it?  When is a child too old to be held? 

Since I think every post is better with a few pics, here are a couple from our visit!

Posing :)

Loves to fish!

Finally just gave up and fell asleep while riding Papaw's horse. 

An unsuspected surprise

While lying in bed last night around, oh I don't know, one or so, I suddenly had an aha moment.  As I'm sure most of you are aware, times have been a little difficult for our families lately.  I'm not going to go into detail because, to be honest, I just don't really feel like getting it fresh on my mind. But I can assure you I have spent many sleepless nights tossing and turning. 

Anywhoo, in the midst of all of those worries, I was thinking about how Jeremy's and my relationship has grown so much stronger.  It's really amazing how things work.  You would think that in times of turmoil all the stress and pain would bear down on a couple, or a family at that matter.  However, it is right the opposite.  We talk more, argue less.  Honestly, we wouldn't even have to talk to know what the other is thinking or feeling.  It is a bond like no other.  

I have used up several hours of those  sleepless nights wondering "why us?" I mean, not that I feel we should be pardoned from pain, but I guess it's more or less like the saying "when it rains, it pours."  I just would have never imagined finding a silver lining to all of this mess!  And, although I definately would not, and do not, enjoy all that is going on, I am certainly very pleased to find that maybe there IS some good to come out of all of this. 

So, if you and your family have been signed up for the "Let's see just how much one can take" course, maybe the thought of something good, just one tiny idea, can help you through the day.  I know it's not enough to completely erase all the worries and fears, but it does soften the blow a bit!    

Happy Halloween!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween!  We had a great time celebrating all week!  Madelyn definately got use out of her costume this year which was a huge plus :)

Madelyn had a ton of fun on Wednesday at her dance class.  They got to dress up and Mrs. Tammie even brought cupcakes! Here's a pic of her with a couple of her dance friends...

Then, Thursday was another celebration with our playgroup!  So much fun!  There was a bounce house, playground, and food.  Doesn't get much better!  They were all so stinkin cute with their costumes :)

Just a few of her friends :)

Mommy's little ragdoll!!

We made cookies on Sunday afternoon!

Finally, we went to some friends of ours house for trick or treating :) There were a ton of us and I'm sure those people handing candy out were definately scared when they saw us coming!  Madelyn had such a great time with some of her very best friends! 

Ready to go!

Best friends!

Precious :)

Just a few of the kiddos!

The end!



I saw God today!

Well, last night.  Seriously, this is the absolute coolest most amazing thing I've ever personally seen and experienced! Take a look at this picture.....

Now take a better look at the picture hanging on the wall behind us.  Do you see that woman in the right corner of the picture?  We have no idea who she is.  An angel maybe?!

The only other people in the house at the time of this picture was my mother in law and father in law.  That lady is NOT Mrs. Barbara.  Her face is rounder and her hair is feathered out. Neither of which is a description of my mother in law.  Looking at her, it is as if she were standing by Mr. Kevin and Mrs. Barbara and she got caught in the reflection of the glass.  When I look at her, the only description I can give is that she looks very content,serene.

We've been traveling back home a lot lately to spend time with Mr. Alfred.  He's been diagnosed with cancer and his chances of beating it are very slim.  This picture was taken a little after we learned about the diagnosis at his house. 

I have no idea what made me take a look at this picture last night but I did.  I just knew everyone was going to laugh when I brought this up, but those who have seen it all agree that it's not Mrs. Barbara, but they do see her. Mrs. Barbara and Mr. Kevin actually went over to Mr. Alfred's house and attempted to catch themselves in the reflection of the glass just to see if there was a possibility of it being Mrs. Barbara.  They weren't able to do it.  I am completely beside myself over this.  I think we've all been a little down lately and the comfort that he has someone watching over him is good. Think what you may, but I choose to believe that it's an Angel.  It's good for the soul and there is no other explaination :) 

So, for those of you who are down over something going on in your own lives (and I know there are a lot of us right now), I hope this brings you comfort and hope.    

Man I'm boring...

Sometime Tuesday night, I came to realize something.  I can no longer carry an interesting conversation with people who do not have children.  How sad is this?  Okay, well, maybe mostly guys, because girls don't usually mind you babbling on about your child, but still.  I mean, I've always been a little reserved around people I don't know, but those I've been friends with for years?? 

I can't believe it's taken me this long to notice this but it has.  While driving back from MS this past weekend, we stopped to have lunch with a college friend of ours.  I did have to focus on a slightly irritable child, but thinking about it, I think I may have said a total of ten words directly to our friend.  I'm sure they were about Madelyn too!  Then on Monday, we had lunch with another friend who had been visiting and I felt like a total outsider.  Seriously, I should have just taken Madelyn to play while Jeremy had lunch. 

I don't really know how much this bothers me, but I do find it rather comical.  It's like I've left one "club" in order to join another.  They don't understand us and we don't really have much in common anymore :( Really.  I can talk all day long to someone who has children.  I can even talk to people I barely know! But have me entertain someone single, I'm in trouble.  I wonder if I'd even be able to flirt anymore?!  If anyone would even find me "sexy" (other than my husband) and he came up to me, I imagine the conversation would go a little like this:  Hi.  I'm ___________ .  Care for a drink?  Me: No thanks!  I don't want to get home too late.  My daughter will have me up pretty early and hangovers with a two year old are no fun!  FAIL. And don't even get me started on dancing!  Ha! I couldn't even do that BEFORE Madelyn!  It's a good thing I'm happily married and won't have to be submitted to that again, God willing!    I guess I've truly closed that chapter in my life where I wore cute flirty little outfits and pranced around like I knew I was hotstuff.  Now it's more conservative, practical, yet still very cute outfits and my scene is the park instead of bars...Oh how times have changed.... 

A Southern Gentleman!

I don't know about you, but I was raised in the South.  This means boys and girls were raised with "southern charm".  I say this because I do realize that in other regions certain things we look at as common courtesy can be frowned upon.  Well, around my "neck of the woods", these things were just expected.  Yes Ma'am, no Sir, please, thank you, holding doors for women and elders, giving women and elders your seat, etc.

From day one, I have tried to drill these things into Madelyn.  We always make her say please and thank you as well as other things.  It's just expected.  However, I see that these things just aren't as important to most as they used to be.  Why is that?  Your guess is as good as mine!

Well, today my faith was somewhat restored!  There ARE still people who think like me!  We were at a playdate at a friend's house.  Madelyn and her friend, Eva, are so girly and really are just precious to watch :) Anyway, back to the point!  Eva and Madelyn had been sitting in two little princess chairs. A boy named Brady sat in the one Madelyn was in so she began saying " I want to sit down."  A very sad puppy dog look took place with this as well.  Usually, this goes by ignored and the child left out gets over it.  Well sweet Brady got up, held his hands out to the chair and offerred it to Madelyn! I seriously about fell out! I've never been so proud of a child that was not my own :)  Pam, his mother, got so excited when she saw it too.  She said she's been trying her best to teach him to be a gentleman and this is the first time he's applied that!  Maybe Madelyn's just that special ;) I'll keep an eye on Brady as they get older as he could be a very good prosepect for a first boyfriend haha!

  

Precious Tutus!

I wanted to take a moment to talk about a friend of mine who has just launched her new tutu store!  I know tutu's have been a bit over done lately and to be honest, I know most of you are thinking "Ugh, not ANOTHER tutu store."  BUT, I have seen her girls wearing a few of these in person and they are wonderful!  They are so much more classic than the ones I've seen and aren't just your every day cutesy little girl tutu!

She offers full length dresses and skirts.  I just LOVE what she's done which is why I am actually taking it upon myself to promote her work!  Along with her classic looks, she also throws a little fun in there which is great for the holidays or whatever event you may have in mind.  I'm sure she'd also be willing to do something special for you as well :)

So, if you're interested, or know someone who may be, please take the time to hop on over to http://www.daisyandlilly.com/ and take a look! 

Yet another "moment"

  Well, two really.  I love it when Madelyn says cute little things.  I guess because kids don't really think about what they're saying, they just say what they think.  This is probably the reason I enjoy the toddler/ preschool years the most!  Anyway, on to the events!

I pre-ordered Beauty & the Beast way back in August! As soon as I heard it was coming back out, I knew we'd be getting it and I wanted the one that has all three discs.  I didn't dare tell Madelyn it was ordered because I knew she would not understand the waiting process.  Well, the release date was Tuesday and we still hadn't gotten ours in the mail....Not a happy momma!  Thank goodness she's not old enough to realize when things are out yet :) Anyway, we got it in the mail today and I was SO excited (this and Mermaid were my childhood favs).  I came back in and said, "Guess what we have in the mail!!!"  She came running over and as I opened the package and showed her the box, her face lit up and she screamed out the name with the most excited and animated voice ever followed by "wow!"  We then watched it three times IN A ROW!

Later, while I was taking her to potty, she said, " Mommy, you're my favorite!"  hehe so cute!


Isn't it fun hearing what your kids think up and the innocence they have in their little lives!! 

One day, I'm going to start a never ending post that contains all the cute/funny stuff she says and does...Anyway, hope you all have had a great week!

Race Day Results

So, Saturday went well!  The race was fun and fueled my competitiveness!  I'm thinking I'll do another one for two reasons.  1) I really want to run with my Dad atleast one time. 2) I want to run in a "real" race. 

This was the Susan G Komen race for the cure 5k.  Walkers were also signed up to do it which caused a real road block for runners.  (That is my excuse for why my numbers weren't better than the were!!)  Running through the start line was like fighting  a crowd on Black Friday --only slower!  So...my friend and I decided to take to the sidewalks which turned out to be a good decision :) It took a good half mile to get ahead of the huge walking crowd and back into the rest of the group.  From there, it was smooth running!

At one point during the run, I thought I was going to crash so, shamefully, I walked for a minute :( But, picking it back up, I rounded the course to see the finish line! Once I saw the crowd welcoming everyone in, I knew I had done it!  Yay for me :)  I made sure to stomp on that finish line in one large victory in itself!!!! With that, here are my results:

435th out of 956
24th out of 49 people in my division (broken down my age and gender)
223/648 Women
31:52 minutes
The overall average for racers was 34:22
Around 10 1/2 minute miles (my best outside run is 10:13)

This all means....I was in the top 50 % and my time was better than the average!!! So, although I didn't WIN (well, duh!) I consider this a pretty good start and a victory :)

Now, my pictures aren't so great because my camera is terrible, but I have a couple from a friend, and they'll be uploading the rest of theirs shortly!!! Thanks for all of your support these past few months!!

Beautiful morning for a race!!

Thanks to my "coach"!

All those walkers I was talking about plus many more!

Madelyn had to be a part :)

My sweet girl!

More to come when I get them!!!!!

Best run yet!

Last night was my last run before the race.  I was SO excited when I finished and saw my time.  I started out very strong but when I turned around to make my way back, I slowed down a bit to ensure I'd make it the whole way.  My final time was 31 minutes and some odd seconds.  It broke down to 10 minute and 13 second miles!!!! Yes, I am aware that that is not a WONDERFUL time, but again, I'm no pro.  I've done better than this but that was on the treadmill and I don't consider it the same type of run.  I'm really proud that I finished with a good run and hope to do the same Saturday!

Call me Mrs. Whiney...

What is it with me?? People have just rubbed me the wrong way lately!  It seems like everytime I turn around, I'm either posting about something sad, or posting about what someone did to irk the mess out of me!  Can you guess which one is today?  Well, if you guessed the later of the two, you are correct and win a wonderful prize!  (Just kidding, no prize here...)

This all began with a wedding invitation from a high school friend of mine and his fiance who was also a friend.  I haven't talked to these people in literally two and a half years and honestly, I never thought I was *that* close to them anyway.  I mean, the guy and I hung with the same crowd and we shared some pretty intense heart to hearts but he wasn't one I considered a best friend.  Great friend, yes. 

So, since the rest of our world has been turned upside down for the moment (see yet another poopy post), Jeremy and I decided it would be best if we opted out of this one. We'd rather keep any extra money around for any unexpected visits we may have to make to visit his grandfather or in case of an emergency .  I very politely sent my rsvp card back, and gave it no other thought....

Until I got a text message while sitting down for dinner with my family from a guy I would have considered a best friend. (I mean, had we gone the Catholic route with Madelyn, he was going to be her Godfather.)  He wanted to know why we weren't going to make it so I replied back with a generic "We don't have the money right now."  He kept pushing the subject so I finally gave in and agreed that if we had some extra money at the time, we'd go.  I don't like it when Jeremy is on the phone at the table and I don't like the tv on while we are eating as a family, so it really wasn't fair that I was texting away...So I hurried the conversation to get back to dinner.

Well guess what! No surprise lottery win!  So, of course, we didn't go.  I mean, we live states away and if I didn't go to another guy's wedding (another one I'd consider a best friend--who was in MY wedding), why would I push myself financially to make an appearance at this one?

I knew this would be an issue and be brought to my friend, Krissy's, attention at the wedding.  Sure enough, the text message friend *had* to make a comment to her.  In all fairness, I did warn Krissy about this.  His feelings were hurt and went so far as to state that I go to all of my husband's "frat boy" weddings (which we do NOT), why couldn't I come to one of my friend's?!

I just don't understand why people always think the very worst of someone.  I feel that if this guy were a true friend, he would have known that there was a valid reason I wasn't there.  But it isn't really the fact that I'm finding maybe he wasn't as good a friend as I thought, it's more that I don't like being judged unfairly and I don't like it when people always make themselves out to be the victim!

I could have burdened him with all our problems right now.  I could have guilt tripped him and made him feel sorry for us, but I don't really feel that it's his business and I also don't want pity.  Ya know? It is what it is.  There is a lot more in life to be thankful for than not. 

At church this weekend, the preacher told us about a woman who came to him for guidance.  Her husband had been cheating on her. She loved him.  In the end, she decided to keep that between her and her husband (and the preacher, God, and the other woman).  She took the blow.  She didn't let it go any further than it already had.  It could have destroyed a family and ruined a man's reputation in his children's eyes.  He said that he felt the woman did a very Godly thing by taking on all of that pain and her husband's sin and keeping it to herself. 

I don't really know if I'd be that forgiving if I were in the same situation and hope to never find out.  However, what I can do in this situation is let this childishness stop here.  I will not give in and contact said friend in defense of myself.  There is really no point of explaining myself when all it will do is cause bickering back and forth.  Which is why I have you guys!! Right?  Thanks for taking on the role as my "punching bag." 

Four days

I haven't much to say today.  Just counting down the days!  FOUR days left and here are my last days of training that my "coach" aka Dad has decided: I will run today and tomorrow only.  Thursday and Friday are rest days but should be packed with plenty of carbs.  His idea of carbs: pasta, Pasta, PASTA! Saturday morning will be a very early one due to parking so make sure to get in a protien bar and lots of water.  He even mentioned the possibility of having to go to the restroom after my "breakfast".  haha :) I do love my overcompetitive dad! 

Ok, so just a little bit more.... You all know I started this with a friend of mine via Couch to 5k.  After we finished the program it was so miserably hot that we kinda parted ways and ran at different times.  (She's a morning person...I AM NOT.)  Because of this, Jeremy was thrilled to step in!  He had practically been guilt tripping me for running without him the entire time.  We did good for a while and then he had to travel quite a bit for his job.  So, for literally the entire month of August, I was abandoned.  No friend- she was traveling a lot too- and no husband.  Well I sure as heck was not running at night by myself!  In comes Super Dad!

Dad's been running for a while now and he really enjoys it.  I don't really know if he is doing it for his health, or just to get some time to himself?!  Either way, it works, right?!  So, I knew I could rely on him to help me keep up my progress.  (Remember a while back I mentioned I absolutely MUST have someone there to push me?)  I kinda used Jeremy being gone as my excuse to get him to run with me and it worked like a charm!  

I have really enjoyed the time I've had with my dad!  It's always fun to bond over something you have in common with somone.  It's even better when it's someone you already love and respect so much.  Anyway, I'm so very pleased that poor Dad got stuck running with me and that he's there to see me to the finish line!! 


  

It's almost here!!

Ahhh!!! One week from Saturday I run in my very first race!  I'm SO excited but I don't really feel prepared.  I guess we'll just see?!  Anyway, I'm not expecting much because it is a race/walk for Susan G Komen, so I'm sure the walkers will slow me down a bit too.  I don't care about winning because let's face it, I'm no pro.  However, (here comes the competitiveness) I do want to do as good as/ better than my friend who is running with me!  Think what you want, but you know good and darn well that you'd feel that way too :)

Anyway, my countdown and final training has begun and I really hope I don't let myself down.  Also, unless things change, this may be my last race for a while.  I'm still not really motivated and have found that the race has taken my passion for the run and turned it into more of a chore.  I had the best run I've had in a while the other night when I chose to not look at the clock and just go.  So, I think I've decided to just work toward more mileage  after the race and *hope* that I can find that time as a way to clear my mind and just RUN.  I sincerely hope that because I've taken the goal away,  I won't slip out of running.  So, I may need a little push from you guys to keep me going!   

A little down

Do you ever find yourself asking "Why?" or saying "It just isn't fair" ?  I'm there today.  It's been a while since I've felt this way and I really HATE questioning God and the plans he has for us.

After a rather long short weekend at Jeremy's parents, I was already feeling a little blue.  His grandfather was diagnosed with all kinds of cancer a few months ago and things just haven't been looking up.  We took this past weekend to celebrate his 79th birthday with him and the family.  It is so hard to ache for a loved one, but I am finding now that it may be even harder to watch the ones you love in anguish.  Not only am I sad that he is hurting and that we will eventually lose a great man, I am deeply saddened to watch Jeremy and his family go through this.  Be sad.  Force a smile of their faces.  Push through their tears.  Deal with death. 

I've been there.  I've watched three grandparents (one had already passed before I was born) deteriorate and die.  I was young, I was a teenager, I was an adult.  It's one of the worst feelings in the world.  Seeing someone you love slowly dwindle away and not being able to do something to help them.  It's been years and I still tend to get choked up about those last few memories I have of them. 

Now, maybe I am being a bit morbid here, but I am very thankful that all of these people have lived their lives.  I would struggle a lot more if it were children in these situations.  I'm sure I would certainly lose control if that were the case.  However, as I'm sure most of us know, it is still hard to deal with death and saying goodbye. 

After all of that, my mom calls after another doctor appointment of her own.  She's still being tossed around from doctor to doctor trying to find out what is going on with her and the migranes and dizzy spells she's been having.  She's been out of work for three months now, she's constantly "sick" or worrying if she's going to get "sick", she has no answers, and she's worried about how they're going to be able to get through all of this financially.  Let me promise you this:  there is NOTHING worse than your own parent crying for whatever reason.  In our minds, our parents are rocks.  They're the ones who hold US together. 

AND, to top it all off.....we just can't catch a break with our darn house in SC....

So, after all of this, I find myself asking those questions again.  I'm just kinda blah ya know?  I want to be positive and strong. If not for myself, for those around me.  I want to believe that God knows what He's doing (of course He does) but I'm struggling a bit right now.  This is a test and one that I'm uncertain I'll pass.  How is it that one can remain faithful through despair?

On a completely different note:

I HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND.  HE IS LOVELY AND CHARMING AND ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.  HE IS THE MOST HANDSOME MAN I KNOW AND I'M SO PROUD THAT HE'S THE ONE FOR ME! 

( Jeremy is working from home today and came in as I was typing.  He said I should write about him and the above was what he suggested.  He said he was going to check to see if I followed through on his suggestion.  So, I haven't lost my mind, just seeing if he follows through on his word!) 

Lastly, since this is such a depressing and crummy post, I feel the need to post some of the fun pics from this weekend.  Enjoy and thanks for bearing with me again!

A day with Papaw

Country girl at heart

Ridin'

Mommy wants a turn!

Sweet love

Happy

Play time

Kissing her first fish!

Lovin on her cousin Logan

Fishing with Papaw :)



I've said it a thousand times...

My baby isn't a baby anymore. I'm so very proud of her and her achievements, but so very sad that she's growing up.  I've seen her do very "grown up" things before and, of course, raved about it to you guys.  However, I do believe yesterday was the topper.

On days that I wash clothes, we usually have a "lazy" day where we stay in our pjs until I'm finished washing.  So, Madelyn was in her Mermaid gown and one of her dress up tutus.  She came to me while I was busy doing something and said she wanted to get dressed.  I told her to give me a few minutes and that I would go pick out her clothes for the day.  I go back to my chore and she runs off to play...I thought. 

Shortly after, she came running back with a dress in hand that I knew she had managed to pull out of her closet!  I was slightly amused at what she had done and it was only getting better.  She then said, "I dress myself, Mommy." She proceeded to take off her gown, tutu and old panties and, with a little verbal direction from me, she slipped her dress over her head and found the arm holes.  Yes, I know this sounds very simple.  However, to a two year old, this is a work of art!  The dress she had picked out was one that is just a little big on her but I just didn't have the heart to tell her she couldn't wear it when she'd gone through all that trouble.

When she wasn't looking, I walked into her room to scan for disasters she'd made while picking out her dress.  NOTHING.  Her closet was already open, but she had turned the light on all by herself, tugged the dress off the hanger, and opened the only drawer she could reach in search of her panties.  Okay, again, I know this doesn't sound like much to most of you.  In fact, I know it's a little dull and boring.  But to me, it's BIG!  Next thing I know, she'll be doing the dishes and washing the clothes.......Hey, a girl can dream right?!

At the risk of sounding like one of the several thousand people who bug the mess out of us when our babies are just babies,  hold them tight and don't rush things.  They grow up SO fast. 

A wonderful weekend!

Don't you just LOVE those weekends where it's just you, your husband, and your children?  I truly adore them!  As much fun as being with the rest of our family or with being with friends is, sometimes I just crave that "alone" time with Jeremy and Madelyn.  It's "our" time and it's even better when we get out and enjoy this wonderful city we live in!  ( There's so much to do here and in the surrounding cities.)  Jeremy and I get to cherish our little two year old angel and make just a few more memories as a family :)

We started the weekend off with a bang!  Jeremy called and told me to read over an email that ticketmaster had sent him.  Well guess what!!! We got not one, but TWO free tickets to Disney on Ice!! Not the nosebleed seats and not the floor seats, but the good ones just a step up from floor!  The Little Mermaid and Tinkerbell were a part of it so Madelyn was in HEAVEN!  She was glued the entire time.  It really was wonderful and even better since it was free :)

We continued our adventures Saturday at the zoo!!! We took Madelyn when she was younger but haven't been back since.  Well, they do a swap program with the aquarium and we were able to get in free!  Hooray for another day of "free" entertainment!  Did I mention that I LOVE this city??  Anyway, it was definately hot but bearable.  We had a great time visiting with the animals and we spent a lot of time at the snakes, sting rays and manatees!  Madelyn really likes the snakes which I think is cool and Jeremy despises.  You could pet the sting rays and they seemed to really like Madelyn so she thought that was just the greatest.  And well, for my own selfish reasons, we hung out with the manatees!  Yes, we visited the elephants, and petting zoo, and giraffes, and monkeys and she did ride the ponies too!  It was an all out fun time! 

We then took Madelyn for her first "real" haircut.  I've trimmed it before but just didn't feel like dealing with that this time around.  So, I carefully told the lady that I wanted to make sure we could still do a pony tail since it took us two years to get one and that I DID NOT want bangs. So, as a result, she looks completely the same to me as she did before we got it cut!  That being said, does it still count as a hair cut?? Oh, and she did GREAT!

We finished the night with Hibachi dinner and a trip to build a bear :) She had a great time making her new friend which she named Princess Bear.  We dressed it in a ballerina outfit and it is super cute!

We were eager for church Sunday morning and then I had a baby shower to attend. Madelyn had a blast with her Daddy and then we went to my parents' so that my dad and I could run!  It was such a wonderful weekend and we're sure to have just as much fun tonight!  Dance (which I'm still not too sure about), followed by box seats at the Rays game!!! Yay for fun times with the family :)

(Madelyn was definately smiling for the camera but not paying it much attention.)

Something almost unexplainable...

I really need to write this down.  I need to record it for myself.  Please forgive me...it will be long and you will DEFINATELY think I've completely lost it. I really only have one explaination for it. 


About a month ago, I got a funny feeling that I needed to contact my uncle.  Here's some background info:

My uncle is my Mom's brother.  He's a total screw up and honestly, we avoid our hometown at all costs in fear of being linked to him and the next idiotic thing he's done.  After my grandfather died, the family began to fall.  My grandmother and Uncle stuck together and it was basically them against us.  She died and after her funeral, we were FREE!! There was no obligation to that town or the people in it again (except for my closest friends, of course). The anger toward him was undescribable.  I completely wrote Mike, my uncle, out of my life.  Out of sight, out of mind. 

I didn't really understand why my mom would track him down every once in a while and basically criticized her for it.  I kept asking why she would invite that drama back into her life if she didn't have to and that as much as she hated him, she shouldn't bother.

Back to the present.

I spoke with my parents about the feeling I got and was astounded when my mom told me that my dad had that same feeling.  He tried to look him up on the computer and didn't get very far.  I just thought it was a little odd that we all, all at once, had that funny little feeling. About a week or two ago, we found out that he was, in fact, in jail (actually house arrest) again.

I wrote it off when they told me they were unable to find out anything and told myself that I really didn't care anyway.  What did I care if he was back in jail or drinking again, OR, as much as I hate to admit this, dead.

Believe me when I say that EVERY Sunday during church I kept getting that tug on my heart that I needed to find him.  I just needed to talk to him.  Let me tell you, it's hard to ignore something that keeps bugging you every week.  Especially when it's bugging you in church. 

Well, my mom finally went back to church Sunday.  She didn't go to ours, but hey, as long as she's going, I don't care!  We met for lunch and she told us about a guy who spoke about a man he was sponsoring, or whatever you call it, in Celebrate Recovery.  Mom was floored that the very first time back to church, Celebrate Recovery, a program my Uncle was involved in, would be mentioned. 

Get where I'm going here?  It was like the whole world was telling me to do something.  I told my mom I'd gladly go home with her and try to find him (although I was nautious with the thought of it).  The problem was that Madelyn had dance Wednesday and I didn't want her to miss it.  Then, we have a busy busy weekend full of birthdays and baby showers ahead of us.  So, I'd need to leave Wednesday night and be back before Saturday morning.  That was a really short time span so we never mentioned anything about it again. 

Well, I woke up this morning, opened my computer, stalled for a while, but then started researching.  Call after call after call..... One rude state worker after another.  One let down after another.  I was at my whits end.  Finally, I spoke aloud. "God, if this is truly what you want me to do, please help me.  I need your help.  I don't know what else to do."  I had made up my mind to try ONE more office and if they couldn't/ wouldn't help me, I give up. 

Well I'll be damned (for lack of better words)!  The nicest lady answered, took my information, looked him up and I felt that she truly cared.  She informed me that she didn't think they were able to give out the inmates' personal information but that she would transfer me to the parole office and they should let me speak to his parole officer.  ONE STEP CLOSER!

I explained, for the bazillionth time, what I was looking for and the lady on the phone told me I'd need to speak to one of two men.  Then, she transferred me to that man....The most aweful person answered the phone.  The kind of cop you'd imagine to a T.  I was immediately flustered and managed to stumble through my whole spill once again.  He took my number and name and I told him I was Mike's niece.  I wasn't prepared for what he said next.  "When I talk to Mr. ***, I will give him your number and tell him you called."  I couldn't hold the tears back and I'm sure the guy thought was was a blubbering idiot.  How could I say "Please tell him that God told me I needed to talk to him"?  So, I settled with this mixed with a downpour of tears: "Please tell him that I just felt like I needed to talk to him."  I wasn't expecting much.  Maybe, if I were lucky, a call in the next day or so. 

I called my mom and began telling her what had happened.  My phone beeped and I saw unknown.  I took the call thinking at the very least it was the parole officer wanting to speak with me again.  On the other line I hear "Hey."  The flood gates opened up again.  I did it!  I actually managed to weasle my way throughout the state system and find what I was looking for.  I immediately told him, through all my tears, that everyone was fine, we're all okay, but that I just needed to talk to him.  After calming down, I proceeded to take him through my past month with God. 

I have no idea what this means.  I still have questions and am at a loss for words but I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. My main problem with everything is why it had to be this.  Why, of all the problems and unanswered questions, would God be asking me to confront the ONE thing I have tried so hard to avoid for so long? I KNOW God was talking directly to me.  For some reason, I was supposed to do this.  I feel like a complete nutcase but feel so amazed at what happened at the same time.  So, we'll see where this plan of God's takes us...

I know some of you will believe this and marvel in the grace, I know some of you will  say I've lost it, I know some of you will think "Oh no! Not Brittany too! She's turned into one of those 'God' people." I really don't know what to say to you?!  All I know is that I have no other way to describe what has happened than GOD. 

Worst run ever!

Disgust. That about sums up my feelings about my run last night.  I REALLY hope it was so bad simply because it had just rained and on top of dodging traffic because I chose to run around the neighborhood, I also had to dodge huge rain puddles (which is why I ran in the middle of the street).  It was muggy, my tummy was still pretty full from dinner and my heart simply wasn't in it.  I don't enjoy running around the neighborhood.  I much prefer running by the bay.  My fear with all of this is that I have gotten too used to running on the treadmill.  My race is sneaking up on me and I feel like I'm regressing this week NOT progressing. 

My mood this week is terrible.  I am just tired and over running right now.  All my shows are coming back on for the season.  Jeremy is finally home after an entire month of traveling for his job.  Madelyn has dance two nights a week and our weekends have been jammed pack lately.  So, I really just want to sit my hiney on the couch with my family and enjoy time with them.  Not run. 

I have got to get back into my morning runs.  It's the only choice.  Wake up early again? Ick. 

ugh! The nerve!

I am SO fired up right now!  I just don't get some people and why they feel the need to open their big fat mouths.  Well, in this case, let their fingers do the talking!  Futhermore, if you are going to proceed in that direction, the least you can do is step up and take the credit.  I know I know... You are wondering what the heck I'm talking about.  Let me warn you that I bit my tongue a bit (trying something new these days) and I am more than likely going to say what I truly wanted to say. 

A friend of mine just had her first baby and has been wonderful at keeping us all informed via her blog.  She talks about the typical stuff.  You know, the lack of sleep, food, baby's progress, etc.  I checked it today and she talked about her baby's trouble with the formula she's been taking and the fact that they will be switching it once again.  Okay.  I get it.  If one thing doesn't work, try another.  No big deal right?   I scrolled down to post a comment and happened upon a comment that truly made me cringe. 

Anonymous wrote something about breastfeeding minimizing the chances of baby having stomach issues (I'm completely fine with someone giving a little advice.)  and then BAM!  There it was!  "Too bad you didn't do that for your baby."  Are you kidding me??   How DARE someone make a comment like that.  I mean, I may have read it in the wrong context, but what other way do you take it?  I saw it as a snide remark belittling the women who, for whatever reason, did not breast feed.  And directly putting down on my friend!  This person either didn't know her in college very well, OR was flat out asking for my friend to drop kick her computer style! 

I have several problems with this comment.  One, unless you are close to the person in question, you don't know their circumstances or the reasons for the decisions made.  Don't judge others simply because it's something you would/wouldn't do.  Two, don't make snide remarks on a person's personal blog.  It's just childish and achieves nothing but firing up that person and the people who care most for him/her.  Third and final, if you still feel the need to make this type of comment, grow some balls (or tits I guess??) and be proud of who you are.  Don't hide behind "anonymous".  If you feel strongly enough to comment, then you should be more than willing to stand up for what you said and take the wrath that is sure to come. 

 Although I haven't personally seen my friend in action, she's a GREAT mother already and puts her daughter first in every decision.  If you ever want to know someone who will truly cherish the gift of a child and that of being a mom, she's the one to seek.  Now believe me, we've had our moments where we didn't feel very fond of each other.  I know this post makes it sound as if we are "bffs 48".  Trust me, that is simply not the case.  However, as we grew up, we (or maybe just I?) began to respect the choices the other makes and see her for the adult she is, not the college student she was. 

** I did not breast feed.  However, I am not personally offended by the person's remark.  Honestly.  I really could care less about people thinking I was wrong in my choice.  I was fully prepared to be flamed for my decision. **

Thinking back, I bet that person thinks I was PERSONALLY offended.  Crap.  I shouldn't have gone on about how I didn't breast feed and that Madelyn was perfectly healthy.  But I was trying to make a point.  Darn it.  Hmm....Maybe that person will mosey on over to my blog so that he/she can see how I really feel. 

Well, thanks for letting me get that out of my system.  Much better now. 

A running update!

I have absolutely slipped on updating on my running progress.  I've been running on the treadmill lately wth all this crazy rainy weather and Jeremy being out of town.  I'll be very interested tosee if I can  maintain what I've been doing when I get back outside. 

Anyway, I signed up for my first race!!!!!! Yay!!! It is Oct. 2 (a month away) and I think I'm ready!  I've been running well over the 3.1 miles I need and if I run for distance, I have gotten up to 5 miles (I'm aiming for atleast 6.2 which is a 10k) !  However, lately I've been running to increase my speed and shave a little off my time.  So, tonight I finally hit my "goal" I set for myself a while back.  I ran just under ten minute miles!!  I completed the 3.1 miles at 30 minutes and 45 seconds!  If I can just speed up just a hair, I'll be at thirty exactly! Now I want to get under the thirty minutes.  I am so proud of myself and am SO glad I did this!

My baby's growing up

 Monday was Madelyn's first dance class.  You all know I've been extremely excited about it for a while now.  We bought cute dance clothes, the bag, I made ribbons, and of course shoes!  My baby girl was decked out! 

Sweet girl

Anyway, she did really well! I have to remind myself that she is the youngest in the class so she may not "get it" as quickly as the other girls.  She was very attentative for a while but once one little girl started disrupting the class, she began to loose focus.  So, hopefully, she'll do better tomorrow!  I just have to chill myself out sometimes since I was raised in a fairly competitive family.  If I can just quit stressing over her being the best and take in the fact that she's having a blast, then we'll all be just fine!  And, even if she isn't the best in the class, at least she is the best dressed!! haha

Show off

After class

Tiny dancer!

Big girl walking into the studio :)

So, the time is quickly approaching where she will no longer be a baby :( Yes, she will always be MY baby, but she's growing up too fast and I don't like it not ONE BIT!  I can only imagine what I will be like on her first day of school!  I'll be sure to keep you all informed :)

Randoms

Just a bit of what we were up to last week (on top of the playdate)....

Swimming with Nana

Getting ready for dance (starts this week)!

Meeting daddy in Orlando- he was there on business.

We can't go to Orlando anymore  without going to Disney.  We went with friends while daddy was working!

It must have been a busy week for her to fall asleep during the parade!

Finished by a nice ride :)