As most of you've probably noticed, I've been MIA for quite a while. Our lives and scheduling have been crazy and the blog has taken a backseat to everything else. Honestly, I kinda feel that it just doesn't hold the importance it used to and I'd rather spend the spare time I have being with my family. Since my computer crashed a while ago, and it hasn't been replaced, the only time I have to update is evenings or weekends. See the conflict?!
At this point, I think it'd be best if I just step away. I'll still hang on to the account so I can check in on my friends but I'll probably nix my personal posts for a while.
To all my friends, thank you for being my support system. There have been several days where I've truly needed you to pick me back up. I've been able to conquer goals (running) and brag about how wonderful my husband and daughter are! Please know I think about you all pretty much on a daily basis and that you remain in my prayers.
All my love~
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Defeat
I hate that feeling. I do SO well with being the one in the family to keep it all together. To be upbeat and happy go lucky about things and to always look on the bright side. Jeremy works so hard to provide for us so that I can remain at home with Madelyn, that the least I can do is show that I am appreciative and that all he does is not at all unnoticed. When he's down, I'm the first one to say that those hardships are not at all things to fret over and that we are extremely blessed. Pointing out the obvious: we have a healthy little girl, we have a roof over us, food on the table, friends and family who care, good vehicles, etc. My favorite little reminder being, "It could be worse." Knowing that God has a plan for us seems to get me through the day.
But now, and every so often, I find myself just a little bummed. It builds and builds and builds until finally, I've had enough and I just want to cry. Oddly enough, I never do... I keep waiting for things to turn around and start looking up, yet they don't. I keep searching for a glimpse of change, yet I find nothing. I pray daily. Heck maybe even a few times throughout the day. When will things start looking up?
See, now I feel completely ungrateful for all of the wonderful blessings I have and totally inconsiderate of others who have situations way worse than myself. And now, not only do I feel like my bubble has been popped, I feel a bit guilty for asking God "why". Bear with me guys, this is seriously how my mind works during these moments.
You see, a while back, I literally handed all of my worries over to God. My problems are not my problems anymore and, although I still have to live through them, I have no control over them. My life is in God's hands. At the very moment I made the decision to do that, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off of me. Seriously. When Jeremy would openly worry about finances, I can honestly say I felt no fear. Not that I didn't care, but I had a welcomed comfort that we were and will be okay.
But, as I said before, every once in a while, that fear sneaks back up. I begin to lose a little faith and take those worries back upon myself. I'll sometimes let it eat away at me for days. It's infuriating and terrifying, lame and absolutely useless. And now, since I've used you guys as my little outlet (because I truly hate allowing Jeremy to know I feel this way), I am slowly working my way back to sane. As I read back over my ever so whiney post, two things seemed to really jump out at me: God has a plan for us and we are and will be okay.
But now, and every so often, I find myself just a little bummed. It builds and builds and builds until finally, I've had enough and I just want to cry. Oddly enough, I never do... I keep waiting for things to turn around and start looking up, yet they don't. I keep searching for a glimpse of change, yet I find nothing. I pray daily. Heck maybe even a few times throughout the day. When will things start looking up?
See, now I feel completely ungrateful for all of the wonderful blessings I have and totally inconsiderate of others who have situations way worse than myself. And now, not only do I feel like my bubble has been popped, I feel a bit guilty for asking God "why". Bear with me guys, this is seriously how my mind works during these moments.
You see, a while back, I literally handed all of my worries over to God. My problems are not my problems anymore and, although I still have to live through them, I have no control over them. My life is in God's hands. At the very moment I made the decision to do that, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off of me. Seriously. When Jeremy would openly worry about finances, I can honestly say I felt no fear. Not that I didn't care, but I had a welcomed comfort that we were and will be okay.
But, as I said before, every once in a while, that fear sneaks back up. I begin to lose a little faith and take those worries back upon myself. I'll sometimes let it eat away at me for days. It's infuriating and terrifying, lame and absolutely useless. And now, since I've used you guys as my little outlet (because I truly hate allowing Jeremy to know I feel this way), I am slowly working my way back to sane. As I read back over my ever so whiney post, two things seemed to really jump out at me: God has a plan for us and we are and will be okay.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A date with Madelyn
I swear as soon as the weather got warm out, Madelyn was begging to go to the aquarium. No, we don't need it to be warm out for that, but we just haven't been since last summer. It was a rare request from her and, because it has been so pretty, I've been putting it off. I do LOVE sea animals but after a few visits, it kinda gets redundant. I'd much rather spend our beautiful days at parks and beaches and well.... anything that is completely outside.
Today, however, began with rain... So, when she woke up and asked about the aquarium, I told her that when it quit raining we'd go. (Yes, I knew it was going to stop. I was not trying to get out of going.) To pass the time, we did a few crafts. With today being the first day of March, we decided to make a fruit loop rainbow into a pot of gold and she colored a St. Patty's day printout. It was STILL raining and she was asking for more artwork, so we then focused on the letter E --it's one that she's having trouble recognizing-- and made a cute elephant and craft stick E! Finally, the rain ceased and she was the first to notice!
We practically scarfed down our lunch and headed out! I chose not to call up any of our friends to meet us simply because we've NEVER been to the aquarium by ourselves! A bit selfish I guess, but things are always so much more relaxed when Madelyn and I go on outings by ourselves. We do enjoy our friends and family, we do. Honest. It's just.....sometimes we enjoy our "dates". The times where we have no schedule, no places to go, no obligations at all and no one to please but ourselves...
Which brings me to the point of this post:
If you have a child, I highly recommend taking a day here or there (even if you're a dad) to spend one on one time with him or her. A day that is truly focused on what your child is saying and doing. It is so much fun getting to hang out and enjoy what your child is enjoying at the moment. Days like today are my favorite!
This is the first time we actually stopped at every exhibit and talked about almost every animal there! We sat and watched a "show" where the worker was diving into one of the tanks, followed a turtle along the wall, found Nemo, laughed at the Otters (my favorite), talked to the ducks, stopped for a snack, "pet" the starfish and so much more! We truly enjoyed ourselves... Nothing makes me happier than seeing Madelyn's eyes light up and a big smile on her face :)
Today, however, began with rain... So, when she woke up and asked about the aquarium, I told her that when it quit raining we'd go. (Yes, I knew it was going to stop. I was not trying to get out of going.) To pass the time, we did a few crafts. With today being the first day of March, we decided to make a fruit loop rainbow into a pot of gold and she colored a St. Patty's day printout. It was STILL raining and she was asking for more artwork, so we then focused on the letter E --it's one that she's having trouble recognizing-- and made a cute elephant and craft stick E! Finally, the rain ceased and she was the first to notice!
We practically scarfed down our lunch and headed out! I chose not to call up any of our friends to meet us simply because we've NEVER been to the aquarium by ourselves! A bit selfish I guess, but things are always so much more relaxed when Madelyn and I go on outings by ourselves. We do enjoy our friends and family, we do. Honest. It's just.....sometimes we enjoy our "dates". The times where we have no schedule, no places to go, no obligations at all and no one to please but ourselves...
Which brings me to the point of this post:
If you have a child, I highly recommend taking a day here or there (even if you're a dad) to spend one on one time with him or her. A day that is truly focused on what your child is saying and doing. It is so much fun getting to hang out and enjoy what your child is enjoying at the moment. Days like today are my favorite!
This is the first time we actually stopped at every exhibit and talked about almost every animal there! We sat and watched a "show" where the worker was diving into one of the tanks, followed a turtle along the wall, found Nemo, laughed at the Otters (my favorite), talked to the ducks, stopped for a snack, "pet" the starfish and so much more! We truly enjoyed ourselves... Nothing makes me happier than seeing Madelyn's eyes light up and a big smile on her face :)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Pics as promised
Here are just a few pics of second beach trip. I completely forgot my camera on Monday, so today's will have to do! I didn't catch many good ones because she and her friend were constantly running back and forth from the water to their sand "castles". Anyway, we just LOVE the beach!!
Madelyn and her best friend :)
LOVE my little girl!
Seriously favorite pic of the day! They thought pretending to
take a nap was HILARIOUS!
Many, many more beach trips/pics to come I'm sure :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Birthdays, Birthdays!
This is a two part post: Part One
It's time for me to begin planning Madelyn's 3rd birthday. Yes, she is going to be three already! I can't believe how quickly time has flown. One day I'm holding my precious baby girl, and the next, I'm cuddling up to my precious BIG girl... Luckily, she still loves hanging out with Mommy and wants to snuggle atleast once a day :)
Our theme this year will be the Barbie 50th anniversary logo. It's super cute and I can easily accent with pink, white, and black items. I've found a ton of ideas and can't wait to create all the fun things we're going to use!
For gifts, I've decided that only family and very close friends will be "allowed" to give gifts. Instead, we are going to have our guests bring something to donate to a local foster home (if they'd like). Madelyn needs/wants for nothing.
Little story to prove my point: Jeremy told Madelyn to clean her toys up one night and she said she was too tired. So, he said we were going to throw all the toys that were out away if she didn't clean up. She didn't. Instead, she HELPED us "throw away" all of her toys. Some of which were favorites of hers. We took the trash bag out of the house and put it in the outside closet, but the point is, she could have cared less. On the upside, she now cleans everytime we ask her to!
I thought it would be nice for Madelyn to begin seeing that there are people out there who are not as fortunate as us and see how good it feels to give to others. She'll still get gifts, just not as many, and she'll still get to spend her special day with friends and family! So...it seems like a win win for everyone! What do you think? Am I being a cruel mom?
Part Two:
In celebration of my best friend's and my 25th birthdays, we are in the process of planning a weekend getaway!!! Just the two of us :) Since she and I don't live in the same state, we haven't had nearly enough "us time". I'm so excited to go somewhere new! Seriously, this will only be probably the second time I've gone somewhere without Jeremy and one of very few I've been without Madelyn. Yes, I love them, but I'm absolutely looking forward to our girls weekend!
We don't want something crazy wild like Vegas, and I wouldn't feel safe if just the two of us went to New York by ourselves. We just want something different, maybe some nice spas or wine tastings, not ridiculous pricey but not crappy either, and probably somewhere in the eastern parts of the US. So, any suggestions on where to go?
It's time for me to begin planning Madelyn's 3rd birthday. Yes, she is going to be three already! I can't believe how quickly time has flown. One day I'm holding my precious baby girl, and the next, I'm cuddling up to my precious BIG girl... Luckily, she still loves hanging out with Mommy and wants to snuggle atleast once a day :)
Our theme this year will be the Barbie 50th anniversary logo. It's super cute and I can easily accent with pink, white, and black items. I've found a ton of ideas and can't wait to create all the fun things we're going to use!
For gifts, I've decided that only family and very close friends will be "allowed" to give gifts. Instead, we are going to have our guests bring something to donate to a local foster home (if they'd like). Madelyn needs/wants for nothing.
Little story to prove my point: Jeremy told Madelyn to clean her toys up one night and she said she was too tired. So, he said we were going to throw all the toys that were out away if she didn't clean up. She didn't. Instead, she HELPED us "throw away" all of her toys. Some of which were favorites of hers. We took the trash bag out of the house and put it in the outside closet, but the point is, she could have cared less. On the upside, she now cleans everytime we ask her to!
I thought it would be nice for Madelyn to begin seeing that there are people out there who are not as fortunate as us and see how good it feels to give to others. She'll still get gifts, just not as many, and she'll still get to spend her special day with friends and family! So...it seems like a win win for everyone! What do you think? Am I being a cruel mom?
Part Two:
In celebration of my best friend's and my 25th birthdays, we are in the process of planning a weekend getaway!!! Just the two of us :) Since she and I don't live in the same state, we haven't had nearly enough "us time". I'm so excited to go somewhere new! Seriously, this will only be probably the second time I've gone somewhere without Jeremy and one of very few I've been without Madelyn. Yes, I love them, but I'm absolutely looking forward to our girls weekend!
We don't want something crazy wild like Vegas, and I wouldn't feel safe if just the two of us went to New York by ourselves. We just want something different, maybe some nice spas or wine tastings, not ridiculous pricey but not crappy either, and probably somewhere in the eastern parts of the US. So, any suggestions on where to go?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I'm gonna soak up the sun!
Have you felt the glorious warm weather yet? We have! We have! Last week was the beginning (hopefully) of our beautiful Florida days! I absolutely, 100% LOVE feeling the warmth on my skin. The problem is that Madelyn and I are never home during this time of year! We are constantly going and the house gets let go. I haven't cleaned in TWO weeks! Laundry was completely pushed to the side for an entire week. I feel like such a terrible house wife but I just can't resist soaking up the sun. So far, we've been to the park, window shopped a little, had lunch with friends, spent a day at a kid's play place, ridden bikes, and visited Disney. Hmm..... Laundry and chores OR warm weather fun?! No competition there :) Luckily, I have a husband who understands.
Tomorrow is our first beach day of the year!!!!! To celebrate, Jeremy took off work to join us! We always love beach days, but we LOVE beach days when Daddy gets to come too. I'm so excited to feel the sand between my toes. If I lived on the beach, I'd never get anything done! Seriously, this is the reason I love it here! Yes, the winters have been cooky the past two years, but when these days roll around, I'm that much more thankful. So, be prepared for many new beach pics in the very near future!
On a completely different subject, I hurt my knee and haven't run in three weeks. I'm completely bummed and highly doubt I'll make my April half marathon but I certainly don't want to push my recovery and ruin my knee for good. So, tomorrow will be my first run back and I pray that things will go as planned. I'll be taking it easy for a while and slowly get back to where I was as long as my body cooperates. I have to keep reminding myself that it's better to run and take it slow than to not run at all...
Tomorrow is our first beach day of the year!!!!! To celebrate, Jeremy took off work to join us! We always love beach days, but we LOVE beach days when Daddy gets to come too. I'm so excited to feel the sand between my toes. If I lived on the beach, I'd never get anything done! Seriously, this is the reason I love it here! Yes, the winters have been cooky the past two years, but when these days roll around, I'm that much more thankful. So, be prepared for many new beach pics in the very near future!
On a completely different subject, I hurt my knee and haven't run in three weeks. I'm completely bummed and highly doubt I'll make my April half marathon but I certainly don't want to push my recovery and ruin my knee for good. So, tomorrow will be my first run back and I pray that things will go as planned. I'll be taking it easy for a while and slowly get back to where I was as long as my body cooperates. I have to keep reminding myself that it's better to run and take it slow than to not run at all...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Yep, I've lost it...
My mind. I've lost my mind... At the end of April 2010, my friend and I began our journey through the couch to 5k program. It worked out well for us, and I did my first 5k race in the beginning of October (I did well, if I may say so myself). After that, I slacked off a bit, and just ran the three miles every so often in order to just make sure I didn't quit completely. I ran, but I ran to relax if that makes sense.....
Fast forward to the first of Jan: My mom called me about a new race that will be held here in April. She was so excited because I had mentioned that I feel like I need a race in order to have a goal and really push myself and she thought this was the perfect one! She was telling me that she has heard it on the radio and it was called the Iron Girl ( you know, like the IronMan but just the running part). I was a little leary about it because I know the Iron Man is something people train diligently for and I KNOW I'm nowhere near that. So, I researched it. Well, it's a half marathon. For those of you like my mother who have no idea what that means, that is 13.1 miles. The only race I've done: 3.1 miles. See the difference? So, I told her she was crazy and laughed it off.
Present: I have no idea why, but the thought kept creeping up in my mind. I sat down with my calendar, made a training plan, and began to wonder if I could do it. Then, in church one day, they happened to show a little video (which is really rare). And wouldn't you know it..... They were talking about goals and the person said "perhaps your goal is to finish a marathon". So, that being said, I'm working toward that half marathon! Yep, I'm going to run 13.1 miles in April (hopefully) and I will have been running only a year.
I'm at 4.5 miles as of now, and plan to work my way up each week. My goal for most weeks will be a mile a week. I'm on hold for a few days because I've strained my knee and don't want to completely ruin everything I've worked for. I can say that my mind is finally to the point where I can zone out and just run. I don't get short winded anymore either. So, with exception of worrying about the physical strain on my body, I'm good to go. I know I'm nuts! But, with help from God and the encouragement from you guys and others, I hope to be able to be writing to you guys in April about the race :)
**** I also wanted to take a second to brag on Madelyn! When I finish my runs, I let her out of the stroller to "run" with me. I clocked her at .48 miles and she had already run a lot before I thought to clock her! This means that my 2 1/2 year old child probably ran about 3/4 mile in one stretch!!!!! That is ridiculously crazy!! I'm so proud that she wants to run. I don't really care if she runs, I'm just happy that she enjoys getting outside and being active :) ****
Fast forward to the first of Jan: My mom called me about a new race that will be held here in April. She was so excited because I had mentioned that I feel like I need a race in order to have a goal and really push myself and she thought this was the perfect one! She was telling me that she has heard it on the radio and it was called the Iron Girl ( you know, like the IronMan but just the running part). I was a little leary about it because I know the Iron Man is something people train diligently for and I KNOW I'm nowhere near that. So, I researched it. Well, it's a half marathon. For those of you like my mother who have no idea what that means, that is 13.1 miles. The only race I've done: 3.1 miles. See the difference? So, I told her she was crazy and laughed it off.
Present: I have no idea why, but the thought kept creeping up in my mind. I sat down with my calendar, made a training plan, and began to wonder if I could do it. Then, in church one day, they happened to show a little video (which is really rare). And wouldn't you know it..... They were talking about goals and the person said "perhaps your goal is to finish a marathon". So, that being said, I'm working toward that half marathon! Yep, I'm going to run 13.1 miles in April (hopefully) and I will have been running only a year.
I'm at 4.5 miles as of now, and plan to work my way up each week. My goal for most weeks will be a mile a week. I'm on hold for a few days because I've strained my knee and don't want to completely ruin everything I've worked for. I can say that my mind is finally to the point where I can zone out and just run. I don't get short winded anymore either. So, with exception of worrying about the physical strain on my body, I'm good to go. I know I'm nuts! But, with help from God and the encouragement from you guys and others, I hope to be able to be writing to you guys in April about the race :)
**** I also wanted to take a second to brag on Madelyn! When I finish my runs, I let her out of the stroller to "run" with me. I clocked her at .48 miles and she had already run a lot before I thought to clock her! This means that my 2 1/2 year old child probably ran about 3/4 mile in one stretch!!!!! That is ridiculously crazy!! I'm so proud that she wants to run. I don't really care if she runs, I'm just happy that she enjoys getting outside and being active :) ****
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I'm baaackk!
Why hello there long lost blog world! Okay, so, I don't know how often I'll be checking in so let's have that known from the beginning. My computer is still a no go so I am borrowing my husband's!
And I'm warning you now: This will be a totally spastic and spotty post!
I know there's a lot that you guys have missed out on (as if our daily life is really THAT interesting)! I have absolutely no idea if I will ever get back through everything in full detail but knowing me, I doubt it.
Anyway, how was everyone's Christmas and New Year? I hope you all enjoyed some much deserved time with family and friends! I'll fill you in on mine with a few quick bullet points in no particular order:
* My brother is engaged.
* My brother and soon to be sister in law are expecting!
* My wonderful nephew and Madelyn's partner in crime came to visit!
* Jeremy's grandfather passed away from his battle with Cancer. Yes, I will more than likely do a post.
* Madelyn had her very first dance production and her class did exceptionally well!
* We crafted our very first gingerbread house.
* Tomorrow is our anniversary :)
I have to say, although I do LOVE Christmas, I was definately ready to pack it away and get things back to normal around here. With everything that has been going on, Madelyn has had NO schedule and she, in turn, has been a complete and total *for lack of better word* turd! It will most likely take me an entire month to get her back to MY child again!
I am so very happy to announce that I am still running! The end of April will be one year and I enjoy it very much! I did take a two week break over the holidays but I was very excited to learn last night that, although it was more difficult, I was still able to complete my typical run! Yay :) Do you want to know what the most satisfying part of last night's run was? That I could actually say with confidence that I am a runner and watch those around me who were absolutely beginning their New Year's resolution! For once in my life, I was not one of those people! I'm thinking very seriously about running in the IronGirl half maration on April 10th but I am SOOOOO very apprehensive about it.
As of now, I've been idle at a 5k run since my race in October. Not because I can't do more, just because I didn't have much of a reason to do more. I wonder if I will have enough time to get from 3.1 miles to 13. something miles?! Any suggestions?!
And since I hit on New Year's resolutions, mine is to quit talking about people so much. I've gotten completely pulled in to this nasty habit when it comes to a certain few people (no, none of you). It's really just an ugly habit that is wrong and I completely hate myself for lowering myself to this. It is not very Christian like and I have tried very hard lately to become a better Christian wife and mother. So, I will NOT talk about these people. I just won't do it. I will simply smile and go on about my business. Yep, I'm going to do this if it KILLS me!
Well, I think that's enough for tonight! I'll do my best to get back into blogging as much as possible. Hope you guys have a wonderful week!
And I'm warning you now: This will be a totally spastic and spotty post!
I know there's a lot that you guys have missed out on (as if our daily life is really THAT interesting)! I have absolutely no idea if I will ever get back through everything in full detail but knowing me, I doubt it.
Anyway, how was everyone's Christmas and New Year? I hope you all enjoyed some much deserved time with family and friends! I'll fill you in on mine with a few quick bullet points in no particular order:
* My brother is engaged.
* My brother and soon to be sister in law are expecting!
* My wonderful nephew and Madelyn's partner in crime came to visit!
* Jeremy's grandfather passed away from his battle with Cancer. Yes, I will more than likely do a post.
* Madelyn had her very first dance production and her class did exceptionally well!
* We crafted our very first gingerbread house.
* Tomorrow is our anniversary :)
I have to say, although I do LOVE Christmas, I was definately ready to pack it away and get things back to normal around here. With everything that has been going on, Madelyn has had NO schedule and she, in turn, has been a complete and total *for lack of better word* turd! It will most likely take me an entire month to get her back to MY child again!
I am so very happy to announce that I am still running! The end of April will be one year and I enjoy it very much! I did take a two week break over the holidays but I was very excited to learn last night that, although it was more difficult, I was still able to complete my typical run! Yay :) Do you want to know what the most satisfying part of last night's run was? That I could actually say with confidence that I am a runner and watch those around me who were absolutely beginning their New Year's resolution! For once in my life, I was not one of those people! I'm thinking very seriously about running in the IronGirl half maration on April 10th but I am SOOOOO very apprehensive about it.
As of now, I've been idle at a 5k run since my race in October. Not because I can't do more, just because I didn't have much of a reason to do more. I wonder if I will have enough time to get from 3.1 miles to 13. something miles?! Any suggestions?!
And since I hit on New Year's resolutions, mine is to quit talking about people so much. I've gotten completely pulled in to this nasty habit when it comes to a certain few people (no, none of you). It's really just an ugly habit that is wrong and I completely hate myself for lowering myself to this. It is not very Christian like and I have tried very hard lately to become a better Christian wife and mother. So, I will NOT talk about these people. I just won't do it. I will simply smile and go on about my business. Yep, I'm going to do this if it KILLS me!
Well, I think that's enough for tonight! I'll do my best to get back into blogging as much as possible. Hope you guys have a wonderful week!
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