Going Back

Right now I'm working on a playlist to add to my blog (I'm learning as I go) and I've come across a song that always makes me take a step back. Jason Aldean's Laugh Until We Cry. It's not one I'd consider a favorite, in fact, I never remember it until I hear it playing somewhere. Usually, before I know it, I am in tears. It'll be on my playlist as soon as I figure out how to apply it to my blog, so maybe you'll get something out of it as well.

Sometimes I just get so caught up in life and I don't really take the time to appreciate all the wonderful moments that I've gotten to be a part of. This song literally mentions so many of those times. So, I'm going to reflect on some of those now.

Yes, spring break-- senior year. Panama City acted as the spring break capitol and anyone who was anyone HAD to go. My two best friends, one of which is still very dear to me, and I had a blast that year. (Pic of best friend mentioned and Madelyn as baby) Let me first mention that we did not go by ourselves. My mother and one of my friend's moms went as well. NO, we were not embarassed. We just didn't care to put ourselves in any situation that we couldn't get out of. However, they did their thing, and we did ours. We made memories that will never be forgotten. How easy things were then and we didn't even know it. We danced around like we owned the world.

Another moment-- Christmas Eve freshman year in high school. This one is so bittersweet and it is usually at this point in the song that I begin to cry. The way Jason Aldean describes Christmas with his family and listening to his grandfather is EXACTLY how our family used to be. That was the last Christmas we had with him and I wish all the time I hadn't rushed it to run off with my friends and boyfriend. Every year he would sit in the same chair and, after opening presents, he'd want to watch us all open them again --we recorded our Christmases. I think we had more fun watching him watch himself than actually opening presents. I can't even begin to describe him. He was just one of those people you had to know. He really was my world. I spent so many days and nights with him while I was growing up. In my eyes, he could do no wrong. But this Christmas, I was a little irked with him and my grandmother because of a family issue that I won't even go into. I shouldn't have let that get in the way of making those memories. I left and went to my friend's house with a simple "bye" muttered to him. A few hours later I got one of the worst phone calls I can recall. I watched the adults all agree to not hold him back, to let him go--it's what he wanted. I watched him take his last breath in a tiny hospital room. I watched him squeeze my uncle's hand. The last person in the world I would have wanted to see in that hospital room, got to be with my grandfather and to feel his last moment of life. I watched my grandfather go with God on Christmas Eve. My last night with him, and it was all wrong.

Well, that was a tear jerker. Let me end my flashback into time with something more recent and much more easy to read. We'd just gotten back from vacation with my parents at Disney. There we were, sitting in the bathroom, staring at that one word sure to change our lives. PREGNANT!! We were happy, scared, nervous, and amazed at God's work. The next day we sent flowers to our mothers with a cute little note from, who we then called, "baby k". We've made so many memories in these almost two years and I wish I could keep a video camera on her all day every day. I don't have to go into detail about Madelyn. I'm sure as you can already see, I talk about her without even realizing it sometimes. She goes hand in hand with my everyday.

It's kinda crazy how one song can make you stop in your tracks and forget everything around you. Things, moments, and memories come rushing back into your mind as vividly as they were the day they occurred. That's such a gift. I guess maybe songs could be considered life's tape recorders/video cameras. You just hit play and relive a special moment or two in your life.