I just don't get it.

   I'm having a very difficult time today not second guessing what God is doing.  Typically, I do the very best I can to remember than He will not give us more than we can handle and that He puts us through situations for reasons.  However, when it touches a dear sweet child, I just lose every ounce of understanding I have. 

  Thankfully, Madelyn is absolutely healthy and happy as ever.  BUT, a friend of mine (one of the mom's in my group) has a daughter who is three months younger than Madelyn who is not.  THREE MONTHS DIFFERENCE.  Her daughter, Shelby, has been running a fever and had a rash for over a week now and they finally admitted her into the hospital for more observations.  I have tried my best to give her the space I feel I'd like if it were me and have gotten my information from a mutual friend.  As of last night, they have begun to call in other specialists including a rheumatologist and an oncologist.  If either turns out to be the correct diagnosis, my heart just breaks for Shelby.  Since I don't know much about Rheumatoid Arthritis, I am more concerned about the chances of cancer.  I just don't understand WHY this would happen to such a small and innocent child.  I really do struggle with this more than anything everytime I hear of a child going through something like this.   

   I can completely hold on the the idea that we will not be given more than we can handle when it is something job or typical life related.  It is typically the only thing I have left to hang on to from keeping me from going absolutely nuts.  I get that part.  I pray and pray and pray about Shelby all day long--every time I get the thought in my head.  I put her above and way beyond any of my usual conversation pieces with God.  I also ask God to help me not question him--but it's a difficult thing to do.  Again, I am definately the person who worries about the worst.  I just can't help but worrying about what that is in this situation. 

  Anyway,  I mostly came on this morning to ask for prayers and thoughts.  Once again, I just simply couldn't and wouldn't want to put myself in their situation.  All the pain and misunderstanding and even a little anger I have now... I honestly don't know how I would handle it if it were me.  Please keep Shelby in mind as you go through your day. ( I won't post a pic of her as I'm unsure if her mother would want that.  However, she is a precious little girl with the cutest little face ever.)  I know a couple of you who read my blog regularly have (or will have) children of your own.  I swear it hits home a lot more when you know it could very well be your family. It also makes you so very grateful for your own healthy family and feel so very ridiculous for worrying about material things. 

   We'll be celebrating Madelyn's birthday on Saturday and the idea that Shelby will have one in three months and who knows what she'll be going through makes me sick.  I will be watching Madelyn run around at the beach laughing and smiling on Saturday while poor Shelby is sitting in a hospital room.    It just doesn't seem right.  I promise to keep you all posted as soon as I hear the outcome.   Again, please Please PLEASE keep Shelby and her family in your thoughts and prayers until we know what is going on.