What is it with me?? People have just rubbed me the wrong way lately! It seems like everytime I turn around, I'm either posting about something sad, or posting about what someone did to irk the mess out of me! Can you guess which one is today? Well, if you guessed the later of the two, you are correct and win a wonderful prize! (Just kidding, no prize here...)
This all began with a wedding invitation from a high school friend of mine and his fiance who was also a friend. I haven't talked to these people in literally two and a half years and honestly, I never thought I was *that* close to them anyway. I mean, the guy and I hung with the same crowd and we shared some pretty intense heart to hearts but he wasn't one I considered a best friend. Great friend, yes.
So, since the rest of our world has been turned upside down for the moment (see yet another poopy post), Jeremy and I decided it would be best if we opted out of this one. We'd rather keep any extra money around for any unexpected visits we may have to make to visit his grandfather or in case of an emergency . I very politely sent my rsvp card back, and gave it no other thought....
Until I got a text message while sitting down for dinner with my family from a guy I would have considered a best friend. (I mean, had we gone the Catholic route with Madelyn, he was going to be her Godfather.) He wanted to know why we weren't going to make it so I replied back with a generic "We don't have the money right now." He kept pushing the subject so I finally gave in and agreed that if we had some extra money at the time, we'd go. I don't like it when Jeremy is on the phone at the table and I don't like the tv on while we are eating as a family, so it really wasn't fair that I was texting away...So I hurried the conversation to get back to dinner.
Well guess what! No surprise lottery win! So, of course, we didn't go. I mean, we live states away and if I didn't go to another guy's wedding (another one I'd consider a best friend--who was in MY wedding), why would I push myself financially to make an appearance at this one?
I knew this would be an issue and be brought to my friend, Krissy's, attention at the wedding. Sure enough, the text message friend *had* to make a comment to her. In all fairness, I did warn Krissy about this. His feelings were hurt and went so far as to state that I go to all of my husband's "frat boy" weddings (which we do NOT), why couldn't I come to one of my friend's?!
I just don't understand why people always think the very worst of someone. I feel that if this guy were a true friend, he would have known that there was a valid reason I wasn't there. But it isn't really the fact that I'm finding maybe he wasn't as good a friend as I thought, it's more that I don't like being judged unfairly and I don't like it when people always make themselves out to be the victim!
I could have burdened him with all our problems right now. I could have guilt tripped him and made him feel sorry for us, but I don't really feel that it's his business and I also don't want pity. Ya know? It is what it is. There is a lot more in life to be thankful for than not.
At church this weekend, the preacher told us about a woman who came to him for guidance. Her husband had been cheating on her. She loved him. In the end, she decided to keep that between her and her husband (and the preacher, God, and the other woman). She took the blow. She didn't let it go any further than it already had. It could have destroyed a family and ruined a man's reputation in his children's eyes. He said that he felt the woman did a very Godly thing by taking on all of that pain and her husband's sin and keeping it to herself.
I don't really know if I'd be that forgiving if I were in the same situation and hope to never find out. However, what I can do in this situation is let this childishness stop here. I will not give in and contact said friend in defense of myself. There is really no point of explaining myself when all it will do is cause bickering back and forth. Which is why I have you guys!! Right? Thanks for taking on the role as my "punching bag."
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2 comments:
Weddings are so hard. Someone is always keeping count which sucks - especially when you live so far away.
You made the best deicions for your family - don't feel bad about it!
(But I serectly hope we can all reunite at Tyler's wedding!)
Yeah, we are definately planning on going to Tyler's (God willing)! Shhh...don't tell! I wouldn't want to get scolded for going to another "frat boy's" wedding :)
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